From a thankful heart...

     God amazes me. His plan for my life, the way I get blessed when He puts me in a situation that stretches me, or makes me uncomfortable.
     These are things worth remembering:
     Approximately 8 months ago, I married a wonderful man. I felt very clear and very sure that this was God's will for me. I'll be honest here...there were things about this step in my life that looked scary to me. Even though my husband's church was fairly small, it was still larger than the one I came from. Plugging in and becoming a part of this church would mean certain changes for me. Not changes in the principles I believed in, but small changes in the way I applied them (style of dress and head covering, etc). Some of these changes were very easy for me to make, others slightly more difficult, but I clung to my belief that this was God's will for me, which made it very do-able.
     There was one change though, that I was dreading more than any of the others...knowing that I would be asked to teach the women's Sunday school class of over 20 women, of whom I am very nearly the youngest. I hate strongly dislike public speaking. It makes me very nervous, and when I am nervous, I get sick to my stomach. Literally sick. So, I imagined that I would ask to be excused the first time my turn came around. After all  I was new, I had that right, didn't I? But when I was actually faced with the situation, I couldn't say no.  In reality, I wanted to burst into tears. It looked huge to me! How was I, a 22 year old who had never led out in a discussion, supposed to teach all these mothers and grandmothers? I was terrified. But God started teaching me something that very day with the sermon. These fears of mine were because of pride in my life. I was afraid of making a fool of myself, I was viewing this as all about myself instead of realizing that it was all about God working through me. As I studied the lesson that week, there it was again, Ananias and Sapphira lied...why? Because they wanted others to think they had given everything. They wanted to look good. I have been made so aware of this sin of pride in myself, and I desire to be victorious over it through Jesus!
     Then last week we had a week of revival meetings here at church. I don't know about you, but I am tempted to shy away from revival meetings. I would say I want revival, but when it really comes to sitting there and getting a pricked conscience over and over, it's not fun! And sure enough, evening after evening, my heart was convicted! It made me uncomfortable, and I wanted to say, "Pick a subject that doesn't relate to me, already!"
     But I'm here to testify, and to record as a reminder to myself: when God puts me in an uncomfortable situation, it ALWAYS turns out as a blessing to me. To show me sin that He wants to deal with in my life, or to refresh my relationship with Him, when I'm allowing it to go cold. And do you know how merciful that is of Him? The way he keeps drawing us, not allowing us to stay where we are?
    And you know what? Teaching Sunday school, attending revivals, and discussing the revival sermons with friends over DQ blizzards has made me feel more closely connected to my new church family than ever. My heart is just full today, of thanksgiving, for a revived awareness of God, what He wants from me, and His plan for my life; and for the fact that I'm even more sure than before that He has placed me here in Hayward.